Written By: Katie Ubelhor
If you’ve worked in financial counseling — especially in private practice — you know how rewarding and challenging, it can be. Each client brings their own story, beliefs, and sometimes emotional baggage. In private practice, these complexities impact not just our client relationships, but also the stability and reputation of our business. Let’s face it: some clients are simply tough to work with!
Supporting clients isn’t just about numbers or advice; it takes technical skill, emotional intelligence, and, most importantly, healthy detachment. Healthy detachment isn’t about being distant or uncaring; It’s about setting boundaries so we can help clients without getting overwhelmed ourselves. In my 20+ years in the field, learning healthy detachment has been a game-changer, and it’s a skill I believe every private practice counselor should develop.
Why Healthy Detachment Matters Even More in Private Practice
In private practice, we juggle multiple roles—counselor, business owner, marketer, and more. With so much at stake, it’s easy to overextend ourselves for clients or blur professional boundaries. But healthy detachment isn’t optional; it’s vital. Without it, we risk burnout and jeopardize our business. Setting clear boundaries and avoiding overidentification protects our energy and allows us to be fully present for every client.
Let’s discuss some common client scenarios that express the importance of healthy detachment.
Common Client Scenarios:
- Dependent / High-Need for Support
Ever had a client say, “Just tell me what to do!”? These individuals want quick fixes and often shy away from taking full responsibility for their financial decisions. They may expect us to be available at all hours, seeking constant reassurance. If you give in to these demands, not only do we risk our own well-being, but we also deny them the chance to develop true financial autonomy.
- Commitment / Engagement Challenges
Some clients start out enthusiastic, only to disappear when it’s time to do the work. Maybe they skip assignments, reschedule meetings, or drop off the radar altogether. Others might show up but spend more time challenging our advice than working on solutions. Often, this behavior is a way to avoid facing uncomfortable truths about their finances. Whatever the reason, it can make progress feel impossible.
- Externalization / Blame
These are the clients who view their financial struggles as someone else’s fault. Perhaps their partner spends too much, their parents never taught them about money, or they believe the system is rigged against them. This externalization is a coping mechanism, but it can keep them stuck and make it hard for us to help them move forward.
How Complex Client Scenarios Impact Us:
As financial counselors, our job is to provide the education, tools, and support clients need to reach their goals. But even the best advice can fall flat when clients’ deep-seated emotions about money come into play. These dynamics can easily pull us into emotional quicksand, draining our energy and clouding our judgment.
That’s where healthy detachment comes in. It allows us to stay empathetic and supportive without absorbing our clients’ stress or feeling responsible for their outcomes. We can listen, validate, and guide—without trying to “fix” things that are ultimately outside our control. This not only preserves our objectivity and well-being but also makes us better partners on our clients’ journeys.
When we practice healthy detachment, we create a space where clients can process their feelings and take meaningful action, while we maintain the clarity and resilience needed to serve everyone well. We protect ourselves from burnout while modeling the kind of boundaries and self-care we hope our clients will embrace in their own financial lives.
Healthy Detachment Practices:
- Set and Communicate Boundaries Early
Start every client relationship by outlining your policies — scheduling, communication, session scope, and payment. Make your availability and response times clear. Let clients know your role is to guide and empower them, not to provide quick fixes. When requests cross the line, gently redirect the conversation back to collaborative problem-solving.
- Practice Empathy Without Overidentification
Empathy is essential, but it has limits. Remind yourself, “I’m here to support, not to save.” Use reflective listening and validation, but don’t take on your clients’ emotions as your own. Maintain your emotional equilibrium so you can be present and effective without getting lost in their stories.
- Foster Mutual Responsibility
Coaching is a partnership. Encourage clients to set their own goals, track their progress, and take ownership of their decisions. Celebrate their wins and hold them accountable for follow-through. When clients disengage, remember it’s often about their readiness or circumstances—not your worth as a coach.
- Use Supervision and Peer Support
Difficult clients can trigger strong reactions. Notice when you feel frustrated, anxious, or overly responsible. These are signs to reinforce your boundaries. Regularly debrief with mentors or peers to process your experiences and gain perspective. And if you suspect a client’s issues are rooted in trauma or mental health, don’t hesitate to refer them to a qualified professional.
- Prioritize Self-Care
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for self-care, take regular breaks, and engage in activities that recharge you. A well-rested counselor is more resilient and effective — and your business will thank you for it.
Detachment Is Empowerment
Practicing healthy detachment isn’t just about protecting our own energy — it’s about modeling the boundaries and self-reliance we want our clients to develop. It shows that we can simultaneously care deeply while maintaining our own sense of self and professional objectivity.
This approach gives clients the space to take real ownership of their financial journey, make their own decisions, and learn from both successes and setbacks. By embodying healthy detachment, we serve our own well-being, support the sustainability of our private practice, and offer clients a living example of the autonomy and resilience they need for lasting financial confidence.
So, the next time you find yourself pulled into a client’s emotional whirlwind, remember: your ability to stay grounded and maintain healthy detachment isn’t just good for you — it’s essential for your business and a gift to your clients, too.
Katie Ubelhor is the founder of Financial Alchemy Coaching, LLC and an Accredited Financial Coach Candidate with 20+ years of coaching experience. She specializes in helping clients uncover and heal deep-seated money beliefs, empowering them to achieve greater financial confidence and well-being. Follow her journey at: Financial Alchemy Coaching, on Facebook, or LinkedIn.